Owen Dyson Jones (Dyson). A Eulogy. (GW3DRV)

Owen Dyson Jones

 Owen Dyson Jones (Dyson). A Eulogy.      (GW3DRV)

Dyson was my Uncle. It is in this context that I write.

He used to joke with us as children that his initials ‘O D J’ or ‘Odd J’ were apt, he’d tell us that he was the Odd Jones. He was many things but odd was not one.

Just shy of one Hundred years of experience, He was an Uncle, a Great Uncle and a Great-Great Uncle, last year we sat and shared a meal, four generations at the table. As I watched him with the youngest newest addition, it was like looking into the past and seeing from a new perspective how very wonderful he was with children. His humour and charm would shine as it did when I was younger, he had a way with words and often, sound effects, that had us all engaged and laughing with what he had to say. He was truly a Great Uncle, but so much more. He was also kind, and wise with a wit so quick. A storyteller, an educator, photographer, a Radio enthusiast, a friend to so many, and Father Christmas to Hundreds of children, he was an inspiration a Husband and of course a Father.

When I think of Dyson as I often do I would try to remember the way he’d tell a story, not just his words but also how he spoke, with such eloquence and confidence he’d share his stories and memories with us all. Everyone I know who met him would comment on how very beautiful a voice he had. How he’d share his memories or advice ‘The thing with it is’ he would add, and we were hooked.

I remember one time many years ago now, he had his wireless radio equipment in his garden shed, as I entered, he said “Hello Cariad, I’m just talking to my friend in Russia”. How incredible it was to hear that my uncle was talking to a friend in Russia, of all places, I’d only ever heard about Russia on the news. He must be a very important man indeed. As I looked around, I saw all these boxes with switches and devices, little screens with green wobbly lines, many of which he built himself. He was such a resourceful Intelligent man. It was a fantastic sight indeed. ‘Charlie’ might have had his chocolate factory, but I had Dyson. I remember he asked if id like to say hello, he handed me the headset and I spoke into the microphone, “Hello” I said. This Russian chap replied with a very Russian accent “Hello what’s your name” “Daran” I replied, “Hello Daran”, he told me his name, but it was unpronounceable to me “How are you today?” I suddenly became very shy, and Dyson spoke again and explained I was a bit shy. I remember going back in the house and having tea, in awe of my Uncle Dyson.

Signaller 

This reverence never left me and each time we met, I remained in Awe of this wonderful Man. After learning of his time as a Radio Operator in the Army, I knew what I wanted to do.

Sometimes we would go for a walk, it would take us a really long time to navigate the streets of Aberaeron or Lampeter, I remember he seemed to know so many people, and he always had time to stop and chat. Whenever he met anyone, he always left them feeling good about themselves, he had a way to brighten our days with just a few words, or perhaps a joke, or it might have been just the way he spoke. He would follow up by telling us that, “that person was Mr such and such, whose father was a Baker years ago with a wooden leg. He remembered every little detail.

Dac

I once showed him a photograph of a car, a very old car, in the photo was his Father, my Grandfather Dac, suddenly he’d regale us with a tale about Dac’s Brother who was serving in the Navy in China. Who would come home and buy a new car, then leave it here for his Brother Dac to drive.

We all miss him so much, none more so than his wonderful Daughter, My God-Mother, Pennie.

Pennie and her husband Conrad have been caring for him diligently for the past few years as his health began to deteriorate, but even so, when we’d meet, he would be chirpy and joke, always so self-deprecating, he always put others first. If he was able to see all of us at his funeral he would look around this room of Friends and family gathered and suggest it was far too much fuss, but he would also have loved the opportunity to tell us all a story, or explain how stuff worked. For us all there, we know he deserves every honour.

As he rests, this caring and tender Father, Uncle, Brother and Friend that he was, we should know that he has made his family proud. The world is most definitely a better place because of Dyson.

Dyson will be sorely missed. But greater than the sorrow from his death is the joy that he spread in his life. His wisdom and love will continue to guide each one of us throughout our lives. I loved my Uncle very much and will miss him dearly. His lifetime of hard work and dedication and self-deprecation serve as a monument to the exemplary man he was. His humility, integrity, and hard work continue to inspire those who knew him.

One of the best things that he has left behind for us is his example.

Daran Oswyn Jones

GW3DRV

While on Holiday… When Granddad was asked to feed the animals.

Story and Photography by Daran Oswyn Jones.

As I arrived this morning, I could tell almost instantly that something wasn’t right. Really instantly, more instantly than instant mash potato, or instant whip, we are talking, right-away, really quickly instant. The family was away on holiday and I had been asked to feed the animals. As I looked around the room I noticed the fish in their bowl, it looked as though they were swimming in circles faster than usual, as I got closer I could see they were trying to swim away from a whirlpool in the centre of their fish-tank, a huge whirlpool in comparison to the fish. As if the plug had been pulled from the bottom of their tank. But there wasn’t such a plug in the fish tank, I thought…

Desperately I tried to reach into the water to help them, but they were far too slippery to catch. After a few seconds an idea started forming in my mind. “The CHICKENS”, I said out loud, then checked to see if anyone was listening. Mr and Mrs Norris were quite intelligent chickens. I remember reading that animals with more than two toes, but less than five toes are extremely intelligent. As fast as I could, I made my way to the garden and shouted “help, it’s the fish”… “Calm down” said Mrs Norris, “What’s up with the fish?” she asked. “There’s a giant whirlpool in their tank they are getting really tired trying to swim around and around in circles.” There was a pause. “OK” said Chuck, “it’s okay Granddad, buck-cauk, we will help”. “We need to get into the kitchen” said Mrs Norris.

As we left the garden the rabbits who had heard the commotion suggested “we can help too?” I quickly let them lout of their hutch and they bounced into the kitchen behind the chickens.“right, open all the draws and empty them on the floor, we need to see what we’ve got to work with.” “Don’t worry Fish we’re working on a way to help.” she shouted toward the living room. After a short while all the draws were empty, and the kitchen floor looked like a small scrap heap. The chickens walked and pecked at the various items on the floor, thinking aloud “a whisk, some candles, lots of knives”, too many for one family, thought Mrs Norris, “why so many knives?” she asked. “I’m, erm, I’m not sure, in case one breaks” I offered desperately.“I’ve got it” said Chuck. “Right Granddad, get that colander we’ll use it to scoop them out” Jumping into the pile of utensils on the kitchen floor, being careful to avoid the knives, I reached for the colander and ran to the fishbowl. A few moments later I appeared at the kitchen door, “It’s too big” I said sadly “It won’t fit in the top of the tank.”

“Damn” said Chuck, “Watch your language!” exclaimed Mrs Norris. “Sorry” he replied, “sorry everyone”, said chuck to the group. The rabbits looked at each other and seemed to tut in disapproval. “Let’s rethink this”, said Mrs Norris. “I need ideas” she said to the room, “what’s the best way to catch a fish?” She walked and pecked at the utensils again, “catch a fish… catch a fish” she kept repeating it aloud.

“Wait a minute” Said Mrs Norris “Where’s the Cat?”… the room suddenly fell silent. The rabbits looked at each other and sniffed, Mr and Mrs Norris looked around the room and I stroked my chin. “How is Bobble going to help?” I asked Mrs Norris. “Well, she has claws, and claws are like hooks, to catch a fish we need a hook.” She seemed very pleased with her solution. But there was no sign of Bobble. We started searching. The rabbits checked the garden, I checked up-stairs and Mrs and Mr Norris checked under the sofa. Nobody had seen her since breakfast. The five of us approached the fish tank, we all looked at each-other, then at the fish… “Wait“…If the colander is too big, we need something smaller”. said Mrs Norris. “Genius” said both rabbits at the same time. I gave both rabbits a stare, “That’s not helpful” I said.

Mr and Mrs Norris half ran, and half flew into the kitchen, small feathers started drifting around the room from the flapping of their wings.
A Moment later Mrs Norris appeared at the partition door, her head was low as if unhappy about something. “what’s wrong” I asked. She lifted her head and in her beak was a tea strainer, It was obviously a bit heavy for her to keep hold of. “Quick” she said, without moving her beak, “Use thish”…
I reached down and took the tea strainer from her mouth, “quickly now” she exclaimed. I carefully removed the fish tank lid and started lowering the tea strainer into the water. The force of the whirlpool was quite strong, it took two fingers and my thumb to hold it steady. “Try to jump into the tea strainer” I urged the fish. They both flashed their little tails, and this seemed to force them forward even faster, they both jumped out of the water like dolphins from a zoo display team. Splat! Their heads hit each-other and they fell back into the tank completely missing the tea strainer.

I concentrated and tried again to reach them with the tea strainer. “Almost there…Almost there”… “Hello everyone, what’s going on?” … “Aaa” I screamed. “Bobble you made me jump.” Bobble looked around the room “What on earth are you doing?” she asked. “Were trying to rescue the fish… look” said the Rabbits.
Bobble jumped up next to the fish tank. “What with?” she asked. Mrs Norris replied, “a tea strainer of course”. “what… that tea strainer at the bottom of the tank?” “Yes” I sighed. “When you made me jump, I dropped it in the water, now we’ll never rescue the fish”. Bobble paused, looked at the fish, then looked at us in turn, first at the Rabbits, then at Mrs and Mr Norris, and finally at me… “They’re fish”, she said, “they won’t drown!”
We stared at the fish then at each-other, then back at the fish again. Bobble jumped down from the cabinet and walked into the kitchen her tail held high. “Erm…You had better sort this kitchen out, it’s a mess” she shouted from the kitchen “If Daddy sees this, he’ll be Furious”.

While on Holiday… When Granddad was asked to feed the animals.

If you enjoyed this please leave a comment below.

Calling all Veterans! Families and Friends of Veterans!

I Can’t claim to be as heroic as some of the characters we see that have returned from battle, or indeed those that do not return, or those we see revealed to us on the screens from the film industry, I do however have a goal and a dream, and one I believe to be so important that I remain focused on achieving it. I’ve had this for some time and although life has often forced me to push it to one side every now and then to focus on the more mundane issues we all face, it remains the same. Altruistic in nature, my aim to research and help develop a more effective strategy and interventions for Veteran Suicide.

I am constantly looking to speak with Veterans, friends and family of Veterans who have been exposed to this painful phenomenon so that a greater understanding of the thought processes from different perspectives can be examined.

I am particularly interested to here from those that have left the service early, known as Early service leavers (ESL) specifically as these individuals may not have benefited from the routinely delivered resettlement courses that service personnel who leave the service time served are afforded.

An Early Service Leaver (ESL) may be a person who left due to injury, or possible at their own request or for several other reasons, importantly it has been identified that these personnel are potentially an ‘at risk’ group and I want to hear from you.

There is a contact me page on my dedicated website that can be used to get in touch the link is at the bottom of this page. All your information is purely for my research and will not be used or shared with any other organisation and will only be used to collate data for this project. Unless you decide to allow me to share your information with mental health professional bodies that might be able to help you further.

The challenge for you, if you are an Early Service Leaver or a family member of a lost loved one who was successful in their suicide attempt, or if you have been affected by veteran suicide.

I would like for you to write a bit about your experience, perhaps if you can write a little bit about yourself, try to keep to a five-hundred-word limit, not a strict limit but as close as you can be.

Please include the following information: –

• Which service, Army, Navy, Air force, Marine, or other etc?
• When you enlisted? – a month and year are satisfactory.
• When you left the service? – Month and year are fine
• Did you leave the service earlier than initially expected? I.e. ESL?
• What was you reason for leaving the service?
• Did you receive any form of official resettlement training?
• Talk about you and your experiences with military life. Talk about your own struggles or successes with mental Health, suicide, low mood, or anxiety etc please remember as much information as you can in 500 words or as close as you can get.
• Your name and best method of contacting you?
• Your consent if you wish me to share your details with Mental Health Professionals?

It will take a while for me to read through the submissions, so please manage your expectations where a reply may be forthcoming it might be a few months or so before I am able to get in touch.

https://www.daranoswyn.co.uk/contact-me.php

 

Mindfulness should no longer be considered a “nice-to-have” It’s a “must-have”.

• A way to keep our brains healthy, to support self-regulation and effective decision-making capabilities, and to protect ourselves from toxic stress.

by Christina Congleton Britta K. Hölzel Sara W. Lazar

The business world is abuzz with mindfulness. But perhaps you haven’t heard that the hype is backed by hard science. Recent research provides strong evidence that practicing non-judgmental, present-moment awareness (a.k.a. mindfulness) changes the brain, and it does so in ways that anyone working in today’s complex business environment, and certainly every leader, should know about.

We contributed to this research in 2011 with a study on participants who completed an eight-week mindfulness program. We observed significant increases in the density of their gray matter. In the years since, other neuroscience laboratories from around the world have also investigated ways in which meditation, one key way to practice mindfulness, changes the brain. This year, a team of scientists from the University of British Columbia and the Chemnitz University of Technology were able to pool data from more than 20 studies to determine which areas of the brain are consistently affected. They identified at least eight different regions. Here we will focus on two that we believe to be of particular interest to business professionals

The second brain region we want to highlight is the hippocampus, a region that showed increased amounts of gray matter in the brains of our 2011 mindfulness program participants. This seahorse-shaped area is buried inside the temple on each side of the brain and is part of the limbic system, a set of inner structures associated with emotion and memory. It is covered in receptors for the stress hormone cortisol, and studies have shown that it can be damaged by chronic stress, contributing to a harmful spiral in the body. Indeed, people with stress-related disorders like depresssion and PTSD tend to have a smaller hippocampus. All of this points to the importance of this brain area in resilience—another key skill in the current high-demand business world.

These findings are just the beginning of the story. Neuroscientists have also shown that practicing mindfulness affects brain areas related to perception, body awareness, pain tolerance, emotion regulation, introspection, complex thinking, and sense of self. While more research is needed to document these changes over time and to understand underlying mechanisms, the converging evidence is compelling.

Mindfulness should no longer be considered a “nice-to-have” for executives. It’s a “must-have”:  a way to keep our brains healthy, to support self-regulation and effective decision-making capabilities, and to protect ourselves from toxic stress. It can be integrated into one’s religious or spiritual life, or practiced as a form of secular mental training.  When we take a seat, take a breath, and commit to being mindful, particularly when we gather with others who are doing the same, we have the potential to be changed.

https://www.daranoswyn.co.uk/

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/daran-oswyn-jones

 

This talk was presented at an official TED conference: Jeremy Forbes

Is there someone in your life dealing with anxiety, depression or thoughts of suicide — but is too ashamed to talk about it? Jeremy Forbes saw this happening around him, and now he’s on a mission to teach people how to start a conversation about it. In this deeply personal talk, Forbes shares his approach to helping a group of traditionally silent men in his community open up about their struggles. “We can all be life preservers,” he says.

Through his charity HALT, Jeremy Forbes aims to break through the stigma attached to mental health, raise awareness through education and empower men to open up conversations around mental health and suicide prevention.

 

 

Things are changing, lets all be part of it. Please share far and wide.

Suicides in the UK: 2017 registrations

Registered deaths in the UK from suicide analysed by sex, age, area of usual residence of the deceased and suicide method.

Main points

In 2017 there were 5,821 suicides registered in the UK, an age-standardised rate of 10.1 deaths per 100,000 population.

The UK male suicide rate of 15.5 deaths per 100,000 was the lowest since our time-series began in 1981; for females, the UK rate was 4.9 deaths per 100,000, this remains consistent with the rates seen in the last 10 years.

Males accounted for three-quarters of suicides registered in 2017 (4,382 deaths), which has been the case since the mid-1990s.

The highest age-specific suicide rate was 24.8 deaths per 100,000 among males aged 45 to 49 years; for females, the age group with the highest rate was 50 to 54 years, at 6.8 deaths per 100,000.

Scotland had the highest suicide rate in Great Britain with 13.9 deaths per 100,000 persons, and England the lowest with 9.2 deaths per 100,000.

The full Office of National Statistics (ONS) report can be found by following this link.

What Defines Me?

What Defines me?

I am single. I am widowed. I am married. I am divorced. I’m a Veteran, I’m a father, a grand Father. I have no children. I have a career. I stay at home. I am an artist. I am a cancer survivor. I have a doctorate. I finished high school. I’m a geek. Are these really who we are?

There have been moments when I faced the reality that people had the wrong perception of me, and it really bothered me. It hurt and challenged my self-esteem, and sometimes made me sad and sometimes angry . It felt as though I had to work even harder and be even better to be successful, professional in the eyes of many.

They judged me on just one part of who I was at that time.
Gradually my self-view began to evolve. Some of those titles were a part of what defined me in the eyes of many.

As time goes on I could add soldier, homeowner, manager, film producer, security officer, tank driving instructor, author (unpublished) and even toilet repairman (because often i couldn’t afford a plumber), to my many titles. But none of those were truly what defined me; they were just what I was doing at that moment in time. They were just where life, or job circumstances or choices threw me.

What defines me is this

Do I give up when life gets difficult?
Do I ignore those who bring me down, those who would limit me?
Do I build people up, not tear them down?
Do I love well even toward the undeserving?
Do I respect others?
Do I offer others encouragement, hope, and confidence?
Do I allow every one of my life experiences to add wisdom and create understanding?

In each season of life, these choices have been mine to make. It was my responsibility my choice, Sometimes I fared well, sometimes not. This is true of us all. Every one of us is created with incredible talents and abilities. We are here to fill a place that no one else can.

Not to just do a job or find a purpose, or find belonging, which are part of it, but to be the one individual who decides to define who you are in every situation. We are responsible for defining ourselves, not by our circumstances, not by what others think, but by our actions and reactions within those circumstances.

What defines you?

I am not the person, I think other people think I am.

 “An open letter to all my friends”.

Those of you that know me well know that for some time I have struggled with things. Chiefly my mental health, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

As I write this I can feel those clouds trying to swallow me up. Some of you may not know, I have become very skilled at acting.

Some of these emotions are hard to control and some are less so, either way I must use effort to control them and there are times that I find it impossible to defend against them. I view these times not that I am at a low ebb, but when I must be the strongest I can be, the drawback for this extra effort often means that I withdraw, as I try and draw as much strength as I can to counter these feelings.

Sometimes this means I hide away, and I avoid social interactions, even stepping out of the house is a problem when it’s bad. It’s as though I’m not sure how to act in these social environments, and other environments too, I’m not sure of what my role is supposed to be, and if I think about it I become less and less sure of how to act. Relationships outside of work and parts of my private life can suffer because of this, ‘I can just be me’ but then I withdraw and hide as that is what works.

At work it’s a different environment, I have a set of guidelines I can follow, I have instructions, goals and tasks to guide me. I know how to act in these situations as I have been trained to respond to this environment in specific ways. I can be professional I can do my job. I know this seems weird and odd, but work is a safe environment for me.

Socially there isn’t a guide for how to make polite conversation, or how to act if a girl smiles at you. Chatting a girl up, forget it. So many questions arise from fear of not knowing how I might have to respond to people, friends and family too. Fear that my mental state will somehow compromise me and open myself to poor judgement from others.

Some more information can be found here. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-anxiety/

I don’t want to appear rude, I’m not, I’m just trying my best.

#mentalhealth #understanding

World Mental Health day

Thank you so much for taking part in the ‘Depression: Asking the Right Questions’ project. We couldn’t have done it without you.

Last year 30 organisations from the world of mental health set out to try and pick the top priorities for research into depression.

But we wanted those priorities to be set by people affected by depression.

Today, on World Mental Health Day, dozens of people, including those with depression, their family members, friends and health care professionals will get together to work out the top 10 priorities for research into depression.

Want to keep up with the day’s events?

Follow the live-blog or take a look at the hashtag #DepressionQs on Twitter.

We’ll be in touch soon to report back on what the top ten priorities are.

Remember to check out http://www.daranoswyn.co.uk

Thanks for reading and sharing.

Doj

What are you scared of? (Ones True Value is Determined Only by the Opinion of Others).

We all have ways of dealing with our fears. Sometimes we ignore them and dive in head-first without thinking, sometimes we avoid them altogether and run for the hills. We need to give ourselves a kindness and accept that our fears are not necessarily based in reality.

As a person who suffers but manages his depression it can often be a struggle to keep my inner critic at bay.

When I’m depressed I stop entirely. I have an obligation to care for my cat, with her help I motivate myself to feed and support her.   That motivation fails to apply to me when it hits me. I don’t eat, I don’t sleep; I don’t do anything very much other than sit and gaze blankly at my surroundings.

My laundry piles up in a corner. My desk becomes smothered in books and papers, the washing stacks up. Apathy fills the day vitality has run away. It’s a similar feeling one might experience if you had witnessed a horrific event or accident, somehow life seems to stop and everything is painfully numb.

Daylight becomes insufferable as does the natural world around me. I don’t want to be around anyone, let alone talk to them. Most of the time, I skulk off back to bed to stare at the ceiling, It feels like my life is over and the only thing left to do is vanish.

The grief I experience during a depression episode is often overwhelming, but never has an obvious cause. I can’t figure out what the catalyst is, I suspect it is not simply one thing. But I don’t like to think I end up in this state because of nothing; my depression comes about because of life events, and situations. Perhaps a learned behavioral reaction to something yet unknown to me.

It’s often very difficult and I struggle to control myself emotionally. Being sensitive and a bit of a worrier. It can feel frightening and lonely. Difficult things to admit as I write, but this is my lot in life and I try my best to make the best of it.

Being depressed is something I dread because I know how difficult it is to climb back out of that hole and worst of all, I have little control over it. I can’t say when it’ll happen, how long it’ll stay, or how bad it’ll be. I just have to brace myself and attempt to manage it as best I can.

The truth is I’m not just afraid of being depressed or simply disappointed that I am, (although I am); I’m afraid of letting people down and I’m afraid of being judged poorly.

I don’t like to think that I’m afraid of what other people say or think. I like to pretend that these thoughts don’t affect me. “I’m as tough as old boots” In reality, like many people I’m a bit of a softie a hopeless romantic and open to getting my feelings stomped on.

But I’ve come to understand that we often create fears based on past experiences or events and our minds blow them out of proportion, our perception are often flawed and they become exaggerated. They’re not grounded in reality. Even when a fear is justifiable, fear is simply a perceived threat, it often has no basis in fact. We fear flying however it’s safer than crossing the road. These fears are not the things that make us who we are. We are what we tell ourselves we are, we create ourselves with our internal dialogue.

By believing that our fears are real and irrefutable, we crush ourselves under the weight of their burden.

Sometimes people will make snap judgments when you’re openly struggling, but we don’t have to join in and judge ourselves. Everyone has their challenges, we might not all deal with depression, but no one is without struggles and sometimes we need to give ourselves a break. Sometimes I need a break to take care of myself before I can engage with the world.

Sometimes I push myself too hard to become what other people expect of me. People who think I can just up and change into someone who doesn’t deal with depression.

The truth is I want to be free to be who I am, and I want to face and release my fear of being judged for that, which I can only do if I stop being so hard on myself.

Sometimes you have to take a deep breath, look into yourself without judgment, and just be honest with yourself about what’s really scaring you. It’s the only way to identify irrationality, learn what you need, and change how you think and act.

We can challenge and overcome our fears if we are willing to take power away from them. They aren’t as powerful as we think they are. The world isn’t waiting to judge us. We definitely should not judge ourselves.

Believe that it is possible.

Thank you Sam Russell for your words and inspiration.

Thank you for reading and sharing www.daranoswyn.co.uk

Doj